High Blood Sugar Levels

I had my bloods took on Wednesday 1st September and I received a text on the 3rd of September asking me to make another appointment for fasting bloods. 

So I phoned the doctors and and they gave me an appointment to go down that day to get my bloods taken.

 I asked the nurse what was wrong and why I needed other blood tests and she said that I had high blood sugar.

I have a book by Louise Hay called Heal Your Body. So when I looked up the negative thought pattern for High blood sugar I was blown away. It says:

Longing for what might have been. A great need to control.  Deep sorrow. No sweetness left.

Then the positive affirmation said :

This moment is filled with joy. I now choose to experience the sweetness of today.

This is spot on. Since the death of the boys and Taw abandoning me again. The longing for the life I wanted with Taw and the boys is gone.

It's funny I just recalled a conversation with Sheena when we were walking to Asda last Friday after the prayer meeting. Sheena said that she had a conversation with Jeanette about grieving over her relationship with her X husband and the life she dreamed of having. Need to go in-depth more with this the next time I see Sheena. She may help me to grieve about the life I Dreamed of too.

So in my denial I was trying to control my emotions with eating sweet things and this just lead to me being miserable and with high sugar levels . 

Step 1 in Celebrate Recovery tells me

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. 
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18 NIV

So I am admitting that I am  powerless over my compulsive behaviour and my addiction to sugar and with God's help I can do something about it.