This is My Story...This is My Song. Blessed Assurance All The Day Long: Not everyone Like You.

You know, right? That it’s impossible for everyone to like you. That it’s never going to happen—everyone appreciating or understanding or enjoying what you do. On the contrary, lots of people are going to dislike you. The more popular you get—the more people like you—the more people will discredit, disavow, and disapprove of you. That’s just a fact.

Think of Marcus Aurelius. He ruled over an empire of 50 million people. Even if he was widely beloved, even if he was somehow the most popular sovereign who ever lived, millions of people would have hated him. (And how many people today pick up a brilliant work like Meditations and then throw it down, saying ‘Not for me.’) Seneca was a widely known and celebrated playwright in his time, to say nothing of the reception to his philosophical works. Yet plenty of people thought he was the worst. Indeed, one of the sources we have on Seneca’s wealth and his supposed-hypocrisy comes from Publius Suillius Rufus, a guy whose dislike for Seneca could be said to border on full-throated hatin’. Certainly he wasn’t the only Seneca-hater before, at the time or since.

Daily Stoic is pretty popular—almost one million people get this email every morning and millions more follow us on Instagram and YouTube and TikTok. Millions listen to the Daily Stoic podcast each month. Millions of people have bought the books. You know what is simultaneously true though? Lots of other people hate Daily Stoic. They think it’s too this or that, not enough this or that. They were fans and think it fell off. They think it’s too commercial. They think it’s too broad. They think it’s not as good as the actual writings of the Stoics. And you know what? They’re right. It is those things to them. Their opinions are correct, to them.

Part of serenity but also success in living is knowing what feedback to listen to and what to ignore. It’s focusing on what you control (your work, the intention you bring to it, etc) and letting go of what isn’t in your control (how other people interpret it, how well or not well it does). Being loved or understood by or appreciated by everyone is not something that is in your control. In our episode of the podcast with Tim Ferriss, we touched on this: It can be almost overwhelming to consider just how many people don’t like you out there!

You have to be able to tune most of it out. You have to be able to filter the constructive from the cruel, the stuff that gets you closer to where you’re trying to go—personally, professionally, ethically—and the stuff that has more to do with someone else’s view of those things. You have to accept that nobody ever on earth—including Marcus Aurelius or Cato or Gandhi—was well-liked by everyone.

Detractors and haters are a part of life…and they may well be a sign you’re doing something right.

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