Sunday, 20 June 2021

Film "Truth"

20th June 2021.......
Was watching a film there on prime called "Trust" ...inspired by the book of Job, Trust tells the story of Daniel Rainwaters, an everyday guy whose life is fallen apart. As his marriage to Sarah begins to crumble when he loses his job and thinks that life couldnt get any worse, it does. Bitter towards God and going nowhere fast, Daniel must learn to trust God again before he loses it all for good.

What stood out from the film for me was...The story Daniel friend told. It was about how jesus had to go through suffering also. He had to drink from the cup these were his words .“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Luke 22:42

So Daniel got the point his friend was making and he started to drink from the cup and his life started to change. He was doing Gods will not his own.

It's funny I've sent for a necklace from Amazon and on it it says "THY WILL BE DONE" The exact words Jesus said in the garden of gethsemane.



Saturday, 19 June 2021

Page Three Of My Rowrite Journal


June I9th 2021... This morning I have read this
twice "Blessed us with every spiritual blessings in the heavenly realm because we are united with Christ!

first I read it in my Priscilla shiner Bible study Im doing called "The armor of God" and then second:Ephesians 1:3.

This is great news of the gospel. That Jesus died for us and has left his spirit for His chosen ones!

Thats why I want to do this Bible study... I can see how
Satan has blocked my mind to this. As I said early on in 
page One. We were held back by our mind because satan was attacking us.

Priscilla had written on day one of the Bible study-
Be confident and victorious, you've got to be able to "see" it.

I Could not see what the devil was doing. I was blinded!! but the Lord has opened my eyes so I can see what the enemy
is doing in my life now. I can also see what God has given me to disarm and defeat him.

He has given me His Armor

• The Belt of Truth on Ephesians 6:14,

• The Breastplate of Righteousness--Ephesians 6:14

• Feet prepared with the Gospel of Peace. Ephesians 6:15

•The shield of Faith... Ephesians 6:16

•The Helmet of salvation- Ephesians 6:17

•The Sword of the spirit., Ephesians 6:17

Satan made me think that I was not good enough to be an example
for others. 

But God had a plan for my life and now its time
to take back the strongholds Satan had over me. And with God's Armor I am ready to fight this battle in my mind that
says I'm useless

it will be God that will be doing the fighting with satan but as his servant I will be doing what I am guided to do by God- not Satan.

So here is to the next 6 weeks of this Bible study. Im really looking Forward to it...

Page One Of My RoWrite Journal




I Love this picture for this Journal. When I look back over my life. I can see that the biggest lessons I have learned is through the hard times. I use to curse
them but now I just ask "whats the lesson in it for me

when I stayed up in Motherwell I had a vision board and the title was "Cultivating A New life? It was the beginning of my New life in Christ.And the theme was gardening Just like this photo. 

We need to get to the root of the stuff we want to remove from our lives.We also have to feed and take care of the things we want to stay in our lives.

In 2010 I went to the Alcoholics Anonomous. My drinking was getting out of hand. it was taking over my life.

My brother John had hanged himself in 1999. And I just could not cope with the grief. So Alcohol was my escape. Also in 2000 I found out that Vincent was a heroine addict. So that was another excuse for my drinking, I was so selfish, I was just thinking about myself and I wasnt there to support my family I can see that now, I couldnt back then.

This is why guilt is eating me up right now.I wanted so much to go back to recovery groups but because of the pandemic all the Recovery meetings where closed. A friend from church gave me a link for some Christian Recovery Groups and I loved them. 

On one of the meetings one night a guy called Matthew who guided the meetings mentioned The Life Recovery Bible. So I bought it and I just love it.

Page Two Of My RoWrite Journal





Step 1 : We admitted that we were powerless over our problems-that our lives had become unmanageable.

This was me back in 2000. My life was on a downwards spiral and
I was out of control.

The scripture for step 1 is Romans 7:18 "I know that nothing good lives in me... I want to do what is right but I can't.

Oh this is so me! Going through the programme back In 2010 I wanted so much to do what was right but I just couldnt. It took me a year going to A.A meetings and doing what I was told to eventually stop drinking for good. My AA Birthday is December 31 December 2011.

My two boys were addicts too, but they were the same, they wanted so much to do the right thing but they couldn't.

They died of their addictions. Vincent died in October 2014 and Thomas
November 2016. So as I said at the beginning my hardest lessons
were through the hard times. And these were my biggest lessons ever.

What I'm finding out now, it was our minds that were under attack. It was our thought that held us back. I use to wonder why I was spared and the boys werent. But I think it was because I brought God back into my life. And He
gave me the Holy spirit to guide me.

Just now I'm being guided by the Holy Spirit and he is showing me my character defects I need to change.

In the A.A. Step 2 says "We came to believe that a power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity."

And this I do believe, just wished the boys did too. But that was their journey and this is mine. And I can only tell you what I have experienced.

I love the scripture for this step : Philippians 1:6-8
"God is working in you giving you the desires and the power to do what pleases Him."

So I hope I can do my Heavenly Father proud,

Sunday, 6 June 2021

Devotional Reading...No-Win Situation.

The 12-step devotional reading plan begins here :

 "No Win Situation" 

Sometimes we are powerless because of our stations in life. We may be in a situation where other people have power over us. We may feel that we are trapped by the demands of others and that there's no way to please them all. It's a double bind : To please one is to disappoint another. Sometimes when we feel stuck and frustrated with our relationships, we look for a measure of control by escaping through our addictive behaviours.

 Hagar is a picture of powerlessness. She has no rights. As a girl, she was a servant to Sarai and Abram. When they were upset because Sarai could not bear children, Hagar was given to Abram as a surrogate. When she did become pregnant, as they had wanted,  Saria was so jealous that she beat Hager, and Hagar run away. All alone out in the wilderness, she was met by an angel who gave her an amazing message: "return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.' Then he added, 'I will give you more descendants than you can count.' And the Angel also said, ' You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him is Ishmeal  (which means "God hears"), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress" (Genesis 16:9-11)

Bible Reading : Genesis 16:1-15.
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.) So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!” Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away. The angel of the Lord found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur. The angel said to her, “Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress, Sarai,” she replied. The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.” Then he added, “I will give you more descendants than you can count.” And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress. This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.” Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me”). It can still be found between Kadesh and Bered. So Hagar gave Abram a son, and Abram named him Ishmael.

Step 1

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding

The other day I had written that I need to not lean on my own understanding. So I must have been right because God confirmed it today in my ...